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August 29, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Actors Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly got married over the weekend in France. Reportedly, for their “something borrowed” they adopted another kid. 2. On Thursday, NFL Commissioner Roger...
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September 24, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. After a man scaled a twelve-foot high fence and entered the White House earlier this week, the Secret Service is reevaluating the safety procedures in place. The first step, putting one of those...
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September 30, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday was National Coffee Day. President Obama celebrated by saluting a few Marines. 2. Yesterday, the Washington Post reported that the man who jumped the White House fence earlier this month...
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October 16, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. A man who checked into the Navy’s Substance Abuse and Recovery Program for alcohol treatment was also treated for an addiction to Google Glass. Even worse, the guy was so drunk, the doctors didn’t...
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October 17, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday was National Boss’s Day. So, if this is the first you’re hearing of it, today is probably National Look for a New Job day for you. 2. New York Knick Amare Stoudemire said he regularly...
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October 23, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Actress Renee Zellweger is causing a stir after showing up on the red carpet of an event almost unrecognizable, leading many to speculate about the work she has had done to her face. Critics are...
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October 24, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, reality star Kim Kardashian said she wants her daughter North West to have a job. Isn’t that always the case, parents wanting their children to accomplish more than they did. 2. DNA from...
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October 28, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, singer Taylor Swift released her highly-anticipated new album entitled “1989.” She chose the name because she was born in 1989 and it’s a great reminder how little you’ve accomplished in...
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October 29, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, reality star Kim Kardashian said she loves her BlackBerry and doesn’t understand the fuss surrounding other smartphones. Although, I think she may change her tune once Apple comes out...
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November 3, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. For Halloween, President Obama and the First Lady handed out a sugar cookie, kettle corn, jellybeans and an apple to all trick-or-treaters. Said tricks-or-treaters, “I hopped the White House fence...
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November 17, 2014 – Monologue Joke
1. Tennessee Titans tight-end Chase Coffman has been fined $30,000 by the NFL for hitting a Baltimore Ravens assistant coach on the sidelines during a game last week. But, on the plus-side, at least...
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December 8, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to the White House, President Obama underwent a routine CT scan Saturday afternoon while visiting Walter Reed Medical Center because of a sore throat. Ironically, the procedure wasn’t...
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December 17, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. Yesterday, Norman Bridwell, the creator of the “Clifford the Big Red Dog” children’s books, died at the age of 86. Or, as it was reported to kids, he went to go live on a farm upstate. 2. Mama June...
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December 22, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to sources, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell told teams that are possible relocation candidates like the San Diego Chargers, Oakland Raiders and St. Louis Rams that a professional football...
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January 19, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. As a result of the U.S. government issuing new rules and easing restrictions, Americans are now allowed to travel to Cuba. Said Americans, “It’s not the ‘to’ part of the trip we’re concerned about.”...
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January 27, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. A drone crashed landed on the White House lawn early Monday morning. “Good to know I’m not the only robotic droid who failed to make all the way to the White House,” said Mitt Romney. 2. According...
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January 28, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Obama told CNN the type of small drone that crashed on the White House grounds on Monday is available at Radio Shack which illustrates the need for more restrictions over the new...
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February 23, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. During the Oscar telecast, in a nod to the nominated film “Birdman,” host Neil Patrick Harris appeared on stage in nothing but his underwear. Or, as Kim Kardashian referred to it, overdressed. 2. JK...
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March 4, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, North Korea has the smallest penis size in the world with an average of 3.8 inches. Which means Kim Jong Un’s uncle isn’t the only thing the Supreme Leader hasn’t seen in...
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March 6, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, dentists may be able to screen patients for diabetes while cleaning their teeth. The way it works is if you’re too fat to fit into the chair for the cleaning, you have...
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